Do You Want To Volunteer?
Volunteering Your Time
“I can hardly wait to retire so I can be busier than I am now,” Said nobody ever. However, many retired people will tell you they are busier now than they were when they were working. Why is this? Is this what you want?
When you were employed, you may have also been active in work and community organizations and you want to explore these organizations further or become active in other organizations now that you have more time. Before you dive in, take stock of your interests and what kind of time you really have. There are plenty of worthwhile organizations that may spike your interest because they are compatible with your skill set and/or passion. When I say plenty, I mean lots so be careful, you don’t want to join them all. Start by limiting yourself to just one. Ask yourself, what do I love, what do I have time for, do I like the people on the committee?
What are your interests?
Working gives women a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling that they are being productive and contributing. Retirement doesn’t mean the need to accomplish doesn’t go away so how do you find the right balance of making a difference and taking it easy? The need to be busy is different for everyone so there is no plan that fits everyone. Some people need lots of human interaction and some need more time alone. Some people thrive on organizing and completing projects, some people like to help but don’t want to make decisions. What do you like? What are your strengths?
What are you passionate about? Make a list of things you love. Do you have hobbies? Do you like to serve on boards and commissions? Are you an animal lover? There are all kinds of opportunities for every interest. Find your passion and research your options, then pick only one. It’s so easy to think you have more time than you do. Don’t fall into the trap of overbooking yourself. It can add undue stress and unless stress feeds you, it’s best to add on slowly. Don’t worry, You can add more later if you feel like you have the time and energy. You can also change your mind and move to something else if you find the volunteer activity you are doing isn’t fulfilling.
Getting to NO
One reason people become over-busy is because they think they have lots of time and they want to fill it with meaningful work. Our philosophy of ‘getting to yes’ has trained us to say yes and figure out a way to make it work.
Once you have a better understanding about who you are and what you like, learn to just say NO. You don’t have to be rude and you can use excuses with abandon. When you retire, you have double pressure to join and commit. Not only do you want to explore your interests and passions but people line up to ask you to help out with this or that. These are your friends, your co-workers, people you care about and it’s so easy to say yes when they ask for a favor. How do you combat these pressures? Learn to say NO nicely. Using I messages helps for example, “Oh Sarah, I’d absolutely love to help you on the Make America Green Committee but I have other obligations right now. I will be sure to let you know if things change.”
What about those pushy folks, the ones who don’t take no for and answer? ‘I’ messages will eventually work, you may have to repeat yourself. You can maintain a healthy relationship even with the pushiest of folks if you are kind but firm, for example, “I am flattered that you think I could offer something to your organization, but I am overcommitted at this time. Things may change and if they do, you will be the first person I call. Thank you so much for thinking of me Mary.” When she says the organization only meets once a month and surely you can carve time out of your month for a one hour meeting, simply repeat what you said, “I’d love to help out and it would be great to work on a committee with you, but my time is totally booked right now. If things change, I will be sure to call you.” Getting to ‘No’ doesn’t come as easy to some as others. If you learn to say it in a kind, honest and caring way, it becomes much easier.
So before you dive into filling up your day, figure out, what you enjoy, and how much time you want to spend on boards, committees and volunteering consider these x things:
Pace yourself, you don’t have to do more than you have time or energy for.
Find a comfortable way to say NO.